but, to be fair, conan started innocently enough. it began with conan as a child, killing these ugly neanderthals who seem to have cross bred with boars – they were only able to make bleating sounds. the carnage of beast-men appeases his father, who ends up dying because he’s a pansy. eventually conan grows up, fatherless and angry. and, he gets a sword. i was excited at this point, because i thought he would use the sword to kill himself. i was wrong.

what proceeded from there was a 1 hour mistake, not unlike the time i tried to perform surgery on myself: it was painful, messy, and resulting in a trip to the hospital. all you really need to know is that conan is an asshole, and a lot of people died.

now if you’ve read any of my other reviews, you know i’ve seen some shit movies in my day. but few have enraged me to the point that conan did. after i shut the movie off, halfway through in disgust, i deleted it from my hard drive. this, however, proved to only further inflame my rage. so i got a tool to scrub the bits even further, out of existence. i was worried, worried the film had tainted everything else on my precious computer. gotta scrub those bits.

i give this movie a 0/7. i couldn’t finish it, and i don’t know why anyone else would.

my only question is: where do the kids go now? maybe they go to bars and get drunk. this is what you’ve done, civilization, you’ve made kids drink. if only you could leave the arcades of my past open, then we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

related to this is a comment on apple’s store’s walled garden: electronic cage. you should read it, if only to chortle at the correctness.

The comic is an homage to Initial D much like Peter Jackson’s King Kong was an homage to King Kong. Maybe you don’t like homage or thinly veiled bestiality. But in my mind there are two types of people in this world, those who love drifto, and those that don’t know it exists.

i love initial d. and as such, i love this comic. i would say more, but really, you should just read the awesomeness.

These days, good just isn’t good enough, and if you want to create hype and ensure sales you’ll need the best adjectives in the English language. The best-of-the-best, without a doubt, is “magical” and mentioning it a few dozen times has recently been proven to be an effective sales strategy.

That shady fellow on the street? He’s actually quite enterprising–if you encounter him, don’t be surprised if he’s resorted to the same tactics…

i’ve met a few people selling magic on the street. unfortunately i can’t remember much after buying the magic. i think a wall opened up, and i ended up in an alley, one that possibly had quills, owls and wands.

http://twitpic.com/2p0n7v

today’s comic pokes fun of my hero: harry potter. he’s so dreamy. by proxy, it also pokes at daniel radcliffe.

it’s called accio dyspraxia. it’s possible those words don’t make sense to you right now. but if you read it, they will.

i don’t really use twitter myself, not anymore. there used to be a suckfail on there, but he said some things. some things no man should say. and so he was deleted, though apparently twitter will forever hold the name, in hopes of his return.

you should read it.

the latest post, and only so far, is darkstrigers. here’s a snippet from the post with it:

Sexy female human tiger hybrids from the future that are so good at online PC games they play with one hand? Yeah, it’s a legitimate concern.

This is the first strip we finished, and it’s mostly a reproduction of an actual conversation. When the comic began Sophy and I had designed a couple of characters with sketches and outlines, and I was walking around a shopping mall wishing I could steal this MSN conversation I’d had with Terrence because it would make a great comic. That was seven months ago. I feel the solution worked out well.

some funny shit. more to come.